Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
im six kinds of drunk right now
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
