nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
