He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize