we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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