don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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