the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
