new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
