i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My ass is underappreciated
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
