Do you still have your period?
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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