Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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