I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
