On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
My bed smells like the plague
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