it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
