I got chris browned last night
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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