Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize