how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
