After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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