also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
