I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
