booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Houston, we have a squirter
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
