i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
what day is it and did you see me today?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
