just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
