Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
