so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
