I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
