I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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