At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
