i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
