i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
