just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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