I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
