his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
