So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
