You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
