And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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