But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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