Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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