Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
