I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
