You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
