how can u be prego again
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
