the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
