Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
