I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
