the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
