its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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