We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
