i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize