Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
