I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
