I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
