He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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