So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
