420 ftw
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
