Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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