did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
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