Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
