do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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