doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
