went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
well, you know. whores of a feather.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
