She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
