Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
