i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
