plz talk dirty to me
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
