You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
