Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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