I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We need to rekindle our bromance
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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