So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
