how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I have aggressive nipples.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
