That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
the liver wants what the liver wants
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Randomize
