I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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