oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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