I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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