and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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