Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
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